Helping Customers Process Their Lives

A new direction for my blog:

A letter from a confused finanée:

I am in a four-year relationship and engaged to be married soon. I recently discovered that my fiancée has a box of items from her ex-boyfriend who died six years ago. This box has everything from old movie stubs, a rose, love letters and even the "Do Not Cross" yellow tape that was on the site where he had died. I have asked her to get rid of it but she flatly refuses. What can I do?

Memento Box or Me'

Response:

My daughter-in-law was killed in a very tragic accident. I loved her very much and to this day, I cherish her memory. I have a rosemary bush that she was growing in her garden and a few mementos. I have noticed that as each year passes, I am less and less "attached" to them. Time has an amazing healing power. I am positive that time will cloud over the emotional feelings and connection that your fiancée has for this former friend. My suggestion is to tell her that you understand and will give her time to heal. She may love you all the more for understanding. If you feel it is having an adverse effect on your relationship, I suggest you might both consider talking to a minister, counselor or some such person. I am sure that both you and your bride to be do not want to enter marriage with any heavy emotional "baggage." I do wish you and your fiancée much happiness.

Best Regards,

Treefrog

Just kidding. I’m not turning my blog into advice for the lovelorn. Treefrog is a member of Elder Wisdom Circle whose 250 over-age-60 members nationwide dispense advice to whomsoever asks for it. Interestingly, advice requests are split about equal between men and women, and teens account for a large slice of people wanting the advice of people who have lived a long time. To hear about this amazing assembly of sages, listen to the report I heard yesterday on NPR’s Morning Edition, as reported by Margot Adler.

Why am I bringing this up on a marketing site? Explosive growth is taking place in elder volunteerism. Older people have always generally been inclined to offer and dispense their wisdom, but today’s social environment is giving them more courage to pursue their natural altruistic tendencies. In designing your next marketing campaign intended to attract the 40-plus population, give some thought to how you might help people pursue their desire to do good works. Too much marketing aimed at older people reflects the values of younger people who are typically more absorbed with self than with "giving back."

Some time ago I went on a storytelling retreat at which a Trappist monk said, "Storytellers help us process out lives.” “Wow,” I said to myself. “That’s what we marketers ought to be doing – helping people process their lives.” Helping people in the second half of life express their desire to “give back” and help others is helping them to process their lives.

I genuinely believe that the most successful marketers in the years ahead, as the nation continues to demographically age, will be heavily represented by marketers who have learned how to help people process their lives.

Comments

[joared]

You had me worried there for a minute Treefrog. Thanx for the links; another area to explore.

I certainly agree much of marketing directed at us older people does reflect the values of younger people.

Interesting concept about the power of story telling as it will be reflected in future marketing. Have always felt I've learned a lot from listening to the stories of others.

As for how altruistic we all are, a counselor once questioned whether any of us are truly altruistic in that we receive some gains from actions we may be taking for the benefit of others, despite what we profess and believe our motivations to be. Perhaps we shouldn't be too quick to believe our press in that regard.

[David]

Joared,

In countering the oft-made claim about pro-civil rights and anti-war boomers in the 1960s and 1970s were more altruistic than previous generations of youth, I argued that those boomers were just doing (in a more visible way because of television) what youth has always done: challenge previous generations, especially that of their parents.

I wrote in Serving the Ageless Market (McGraw-Hill, 1990) that altruism is not defined by the act, but by the motive.

Yes, people can reap handsome psychic rewards from altruistic acts, but that does not necessarily mean that the promise of psychic rewards is always the motive.

Thanks for your thoughts, Joared.

DBW